"5=1." -Larry Brown staple belief
"We want to play fast....that does not mean we want to shoot fast." -Seth Greenberg
"He's a "late passer" -- guy who looks for his move first and does not see the open man at the right time." -Kevin Eastman
Hey peeps. Hope everyone is having a good week. I know that for many who view this blog on a regular basis, the weekend cannot come soon enough. The wait is winding down. Anticipation is sky high. The Super Bowl of weddings for the year 2009 is finally here. Pete Moran, the Love Doctor, will be tying the knot with his beautiful bride Christina Saluan this Saturday. In a strange summer, that is sadly winding down, this is for all intents and purposes the biggest event and a great way to begin the month of August.
Now we all have high expectations. With a guest list of this caliber, it is very difficult to imagine anything except a day and night of total euphoria. The day will begin with a touching wedding that is sure to bring many to tears. I expect a classy ceremony that will make both the Moran and Saluan families extremely satisfied. The flowers and decor will look great. The bridesmaid dresses will be pretty. I expect Pete's tuxedo choices for himself and his groomsmen will be top notch. Hopefully the priest will nail a short and sweet message to the bride and groom. The whole nine yards.
Then we move into the early stages of the reception. This is a great part of any wedding. The drinks start to flow a little bit. Everyone gets settled in. You get to make your rounds and talk to some people you have not seen in a while. You scout out the dance floor. You scout out the music selection, or get a read on the DJ. You eat some crab cakes. You scout out the female talent. You grab another beer. Somebody hits a great one liner and brings the house down. It's all great stuff. And as you sit down to eat, you can feel that the night is still very young, but it has been great already. THEY GOT DRAFTS!
The best man speech, a crucial point in any wedding night will be key. This really dictates where the wedding will go. It sets the tone. He/they can push it to a level once thought unreachable, or it can put a sudden damper on the eating hour if by chance the best man bombs (no pressure). Needless to say, I am very anxious to see how that will be handled. Sources close to me have informed me that the brothers Moran will be handling the speech. 3 Moran brothers for the price of 1. I like the idea. I like where this could go. Learning that, I am fully expecting a great speech. A 5 or 6 belly laugh speech. I'll really be looking for Matt Moran to push the envelope with his language and subject topics. I expect him to be the catalyst. He'll be the star of the show. A Jason Pejak speech would have been phenomenal if Pete chose to go that road. It could have competed with the likes of Matt, Pat and Joe. But putting it in the hands of Matt is a pretty good play, and I hope he uncorks the potential that is gonna overflowing in that room. I hope someone has the bleep button ready.
BUT NOW, the night really gets going. THE HEAVY HITTERS start to come out and play. This is why you want to get invited to weddings. This is where the fun begins. And when I say heavy hitters, I mean heavy hitters. This party will be full of them. The Derek Smiths. The Anthony DeMicheles. The Jon Franks. The Dave Gibbons. The Drew Salatas. Fast company to say the least. This is when the character of any wedding is defined. Where is this party gonna go? Who is gonna take this party to the next level? How drunk are people willing to get in front of people they love? Those are the kind of questions everyone is asking themselves. WHOSE GONNA MAKE A PLAY? ASK YOURSELF: DO I HAVE THE STONES TO MAKE THIS WEDDING BETTER?
Morning Line Favorites:
Best Dancer: Alex Koltsov--Alex provides the crowd with a perfect mix of seriousness and fun in the way he dances. His patented backpedal in place coupled with his stare has been making the women wet for years. He also probably knows the electric slide and other dance staples of weddings. Huge bonus points. I expect him to be a tone setter. Other notable dancers include: Drew Salata and Tony D.
Drunkest Guy at the Wedding: Tie, Rudy Kirbus, Rory O'Neil-- For Rudy, this is a relative no brainer. He'll be blitzed 2 hours before the wedding ceremony starts. In past weddings involving ex-JCU ball players Rory has not disappointed. He has been a catalyst in single -handedly bankrupting whoever is paying for the alcohol at the weddings he has been privy to. However, I regret to inform everyone that Rory will not even be attending. There were huge question marks surrounding how much he would have had in the tank anyway. This is the kind of category where the favorite never wins. This is Vegas' cash cow bet. You always have your favorites, and then a young upstart comes to the wedding and blows everyone out of the water. But for now, it's Rudys to lose. THE STREAKS ARE HOT!
Best Dressed: Derek Smith--There is no doubt in my mind that Derek will be the best dressed guy at this party. And if this is the kind of reception where sunglasses are being worn, it will only add to his look. The only question is which $200+ pair he will choose to wear. Add it all up, from the gelled hair to the shoes, and his sartorial splendor will trump the field. HURT ME!
Drunkest Dancer: Derek Smith--If there was ever a dance floor to swoop on, this is the place. This will be prime pickings for him. And I expect him to take full advantage. Whether it be moms, bridesmaids, cousins, wives--Sweet D is not going to discriminate. SHE WANTS IT!
Steady/Consistency Guy of the Night: Tony DeMichele, Terry Walsh--It's unfair to call Tony and Terry sleepers. They rarely disappoints. But I think it's appropriate to slot them here. On a night with high expectations, it will be easy to fall under the radar. I think when we look back at the efforts put forth throughout the night, their performance will stack up against everyone's. This is a road game for Tony, so I expect his focus to be high. You know what you're gonna get from Tony D. A great floor game. Making the extra pass. Getting the loose ball. With Terry you are going to get heavy production and a wise understanding of the game. A guy who will be ready to take the big shot.
Sleeper of the Night: Pat Prosser--There are few guys in the John Carroll community who have the inane ability to raise the level of their game when the occasion asks for it. This is one of those guys. When the money's on the table, he comes and plays at a high level. I dunno what his RSVP status is, but God I hope he is there. Thinking about it, the level of this reception rests heavily on his presence. It's on his shoulders. When the focus is dwindling, and Derek Smith has sunk his teeth into a 31 year old slumpbuster, I think it will only be Prosser who can convince him to ditch the girl and head to bar for greener pastures. Time will tell. But if you read this Coach Prosser, I expect you to be there.
Mixed Prop Bets:
Pete Crying on the Alter 1:2
Coach Moran crying at the ceremony 1:2
Sleeper of the Night: Pat Prosser--There are few guys in the John Carroll community who have the inane ability to raise the level of their game when the occasion asks for it. This is one of those guys. When the money's on the table, he comes and plays at a high level. I dunno what his RSVP status is, but God I hope he is there. Thinking about it, the level of this reception rests heavily on his presence. It's on his shoulders. When the focus is dwindling, and Derek Smith has sunk his teeth into a 31 year old slumpbuster, I think it will only be Prosser who can convince him to ditch the girl and head to bar for greener pastures. Time will tell. But if you read this Coach Prosser, I expect you to be there.
Mixed Prop Bets:
Pete Crying on the Alter 1:2
Coach Moran crying at the ceremony 1:2
Conor crying at the ceremony 1:3
Jason Pejak hooking up with a bridesmaid Off the Board
Derek Smith hooking up with a bridesmaid 9:4
Damon Goodwin in attendance 40:1
Derek Smith hooking up with a woman over 35 years old 5:1
Bob Morris in attendance 100: 1
Chris Zajac asleep by 9pm 4:1
Alex Koltsov eskimo kissing a co-ed 5:1
Random nipple slip by bridesmaid 8:1
Matt Moran dropping an F bomb in the best man speech 4:1
John Curran passed out by 9pm 5:1
Rudy arguing with me about who had the better grade school basketball and football team 3:1
A fist fight between the brothers 10:1
Coach Moran's hair being messed up and disheveled by 6pm: 4:1
Pete throwing cake in Christina's face first 1:2
Christina throwing cake in Pete's face first 3:1
Rudy finishing the night past out in the backseat of Coach Stavole's car 8:1
In closing, I would just like to congratulate Pete on his big day. Pete has been a great friend to me since the first day I met him. He was a great player and teammate, and I loved playing with him and being a part of some great teams. He taught me things like "the sleeper," "the math problem," and the story of the Little Cub. He blew minds of any guy or player who came into contact with him. His advice on sports betting and how to approach and treat women will stand the test of time. His life principles, such as why he eats meat on Fridays during Lent are an inspiration to many of us. I couldn't possibly do Pete justice in this closing tongue and cheek paragraph. I am looking forward to celebrating the night with Pete and all our friends. It should be a great night. LET'S GET DIRTY!
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