Friday, March 5, 2010

A GREAT IDEA FOR YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS

HAPPY FRIDAY PEEPS. I am getting ready to go to the MIT Sloan Sports Analytics Conference in Boston. It should be an interesting event. I am excited to see what happens. For those of you who don't know, this is a sports conference hosted by Daryl Morey, the GM of the Houston Rockets. He's in my top 3 favorite GMs in the NBA. Smart guy. He's an MIT guy, who started working for Bill James in the late 80s early 90s at STATS INC. And he has kinda brought the moneyball type thinking that Bill James revolutionized baseball with to the NBA. And now, it has kind of taken a life of its own, with almost every team devoting some man power to dissecting and analyzing small unorthodox statistics looking for that secret sauce. And that's what this MIT Sports Analytics Conference is all about: it's a forum to discuss the increasing role of statistical analytics in sports, and brings together some of the leaders of the movement for a great discussion.

BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I HAVE FOR YOU TODAY. Today I have a great idea. A useful idea. An idea that you can use with your buddies. An idea that you can use with women.

With all the fuss in NFL Free Agency, and the pending NBA Summer of 2010 Free Agent class, the idea of using NBA and NFL contracts to talk about girls just popped into my head driving home yesterday. I sent a weird text to a couple of my buddies to see whether the idea had any validity. All of them signed off. I feel like you can use this in a lot of ways. Here it is.

Let's say you meet a girl tonight. You too hit it off. Good energy is happening. You report back to your group of friends who have been watching intently. They ask you about it. You say, "Ehh yea I feel like she's a candidate for a 10 day contract."

You meet a 10 downtown at lunch. She's babe-zilla, has it all working. You shoot a text to a couple of your buddies: I THINK I JUST MET A MAX PLAYER! I THINK SHE'S WORTH RASHARD LEWIS TYPE MONEY!

You get the picture. If things are going well with your new lady, maybe you sign her to the vaunted second 10 day contract. Maybe you've been with a girl for a month and you're trying to figure out what the future holds. Is she worth a first and third rounder tender? Are trade talks off the table? Can you work out a sign and trade with one of her friends? Can you extend her for the summer? What if you're in with a girl that you can't get rid of: I CAN'T GET OUT OF THIS CONTRACT, IT'S LIKE BRIAN CARDINAL OR JERMAINE O'NEAL!

There is just a lot of funny ways you can use this. Whether you have a girl playing for the mid-level exception due this summer, or you terminate a contract because she violated the character clauses set forth in her contract. Or even worse, maybe she has not hit the bed room incentives part of her contract, it's all gravy and great chatter for you and your buddies. Maybe you have a lady friend and you find yourself buying her crap all the time: THIS CHICK IS PUTTING ME OVER THE LUXURY TAX!

I think you can attack a girl with this at a bar too. I think you can really put a girl on her toes with it. You can go in directly for the kill with: "I would like to sign you to a one night contract." You can temporarily disqualify them with: "I think you're great but I don't think you're worth a top 10 money yet. What else do you have going for you?" You have to tread lightly with it, but if you can disqualify them and make them qualify themselves back to you with reasons why they deserve a lucrative contract, it could be something new and interesting that they appreciate.

Happy Friday. Go out and find that max player.

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